I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
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