What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
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