Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
Keep calm and carrot on.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
I'm going to start a hummus brand that comes in really difficult to open containers.
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
Go to BabaMail
