What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”
…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
"Alcohol you later."
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
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