I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
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