If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
"You're the wine that I want."
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
You knead me in your loaf.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
"Alcohol you later."
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
"You had me at merlot."
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
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