When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
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