What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I yam what I yam.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
---
What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Go to BabaMail
