What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Time to celery-brate.
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
I think therefore I yam.
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