Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
"Love the wine you're with."
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
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