Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I love you a tot!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
"Here for the right riesling."
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Time fries when you’re having fun!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
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