What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
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