What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
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