What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Go to BabaMail
