The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
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