Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Why shouldn't you shop at the Banana Republic? Because the employees look like a bunch of dicks.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
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