What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
Why shouldn't you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you'll find the cue cumbersome.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
What a spud muffin.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
Go to BabaMail
