Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
One should always practice what they peach.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
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