Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
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