How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
"Back that glass up."
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
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