Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
You’re wine in a million.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
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