People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
I caught my sister click and post a picture of the soupy noodles yesterday. She was actively instagramen.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
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