Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
One should always practice what they peach.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
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