Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
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