How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
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