What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
"Great minds drink alike."
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
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