There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
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