What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
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