"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
I hope for world peas.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
Go to BabaMail
