If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Go to BabaMail
