What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
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