How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
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