What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
"Great minds drink alike."
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
"Alcohol you later."
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
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