There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
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