What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
"On cloud wine."
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
"It's wine o'clock."
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
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