Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
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