Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
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