What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
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