I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Keep calm and carrot on.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
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