Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
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