What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I hope for world peas.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
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