What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
You've really struck a gourd with me...
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