Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
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