Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
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