Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
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