Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
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