Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
We’re a perfect mash.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
"Here for the right riesling."
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
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