What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
"Read between the wines."
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
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