Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
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