What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
Time to celery-brate.
"Back that glass up."
"Love the wine you're with."
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
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