What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
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