The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
"Love the wine you're with."
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you drink with the Queen of England? Royal-Tea.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
"You had me at merlot."
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Go to BabaMail
