Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
"Sip happens."
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
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