My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Go to BabaMail
