To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
Police believe he topped himself.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Shucking takes lots of corn-centration.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
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