What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.