What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
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