My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Time to celery-brate.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Everybody romaine calm.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
I hope for world peas.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What a spud muffin.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
I yam what I yam.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
This foundation is rock salad.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
I think therefore I yam.
I love you from my head tomato
Go to BabaMail
