What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I yam what I yam.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
I love you from my head tomato
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
This foundation is rock salad.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Everybody romaine calm.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Time to celery-brate.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
I think therefore I yam.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Keep calm and carrot on.
I hope for world peas.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What a spud muffin.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
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