I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Time to celery-brate.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
This foundation is rock salad.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
I think therefore I yam.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
I hope for world peas.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
I yam what I yam.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
I love you from my head tomato
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Go to BabaMail
