Time to celery-brate.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
This foundation is rock salad.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Keep calm and carrot on.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
I hope for world peas.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What a spud muffin.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Everybody romaine calm.
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