My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Everybody romaine calm.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Time to celery-brate.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
I think therefore I yam.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
I yam what I yam.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What a spud muffin.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Keep calm and carrot on.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
I love you from my head tomato
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
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