What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.