What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
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