What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.