My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
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