Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
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