What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
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