Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
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