What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
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