What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
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