What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
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