What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
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