Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
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