I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Go to BabaMail
