You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
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