I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
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