I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
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