Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
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