Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
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