No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.