Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
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