I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!