If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
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