Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
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