What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
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