I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
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