Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
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