How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
"I need to re-wine my life."
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Go to BabaMail
