"You're the wine that I want."
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
Police believe he topped himself.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
"I mead more wine."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
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