When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
"On cloud wine."
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
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