I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
I yam what I yam.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
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