American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
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