What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
"Read between the wines."
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
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