I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
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