Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
"Partners in wine."
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
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