How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
One should always practice what they peach.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
You've really struck a gourd with me...
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
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