The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
I caught my sister click and post a picture of the soupy noodles yesterday. She was actively instagramen.
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
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