The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
When you accidentally step on a cheerio, you become a cereal killer.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
Everybody romaine calm.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
"Back that glass up."
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