What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
"Be kind, re-wine."
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
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