A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
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