Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
"It's wine o'clock."
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
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