How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
Join us for a slice of fun.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
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