What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
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