What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
A man likes sending random stuff to his friends through the mail because he finds it funny.
This particular time the man takes some lettuce to the post office to ship to a friend from back home.
He tries to package it up but it won't fit unless he cuts it into smaller peices. He cuts it up and stuffs it in a large envelope, however he forgets to write out and attach a shipping label. He doesn't realize his mistake at the time and brings it to the counter to send.
The postal workers says: "You can't send a salad like that, it needs adressing".
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
---
What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Go to BabaMail
