I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
We’re a perfect mash.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
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