Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
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