What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
When you accidentally step on a cheerio, you become a cereal killer.
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
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