What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
We’re a perfect mash.
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
I like you a latke!
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Go to BabaMail
