Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
What do you call a pickle doctor?
A dill pusher.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
I love you from my head tomato
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
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