Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What happened to the zombie that made him visit the doctor? He had a crummy feeling.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
"It's wine o'clock."
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
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