How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
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