What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
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