What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Why shouldn't you shop at the Banana Republic? Because the employees look like a bunch of dicks.
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