What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
You knead me in your loaf.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
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