Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
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