How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Go to BabaMail
