Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Go to BabaMail
