What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Join us for a slice of fun.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
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